Why?

So why

We were busy.  We loved you so much we had to give you away.  (thanks).  We wanted you to have a better life.  Does anyone believe these things?  Because they sound like horseshit to me.  Maybe I’ll love you so much that I’ll push you in front of a train.  Maybe I just want to protect you from future sorrows.  After all you may get sick someday and suffer, so let me protect you from that.  That would be the best thing I could do for you wouldn’t it? 

Did you think I would never come back?  Did you think I was really gone forever? If you wanted me gone for sure you should’ve taken me to the river and drowned me.  And you wanted me to come back?  Be careful what you wish for. 

And there is no good reason.  Were you brains taken over by aliens?  That would be a good reason. Someone forced you at gunpoint? 

Did you just not feel like raising a kid at that time?  Were you not “ready” for parenthood?  For fucks sake, what were you thinking?  I’ve had children, daughters even and not for one second did I ever consider giving them away. 

I love you but I just don’t get it.  Do other people understand and sympathize?  I wish I could.